


Maybe...

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Eh I'll add tags as it goes, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, No idea where it's going, Yamaguchi protection squad, bus story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-27 06:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2681969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's Christmas again. The time of the year where joy and cheer is spread, the time where lovers, friends, and family gather to celebrate.</p>
<p>Maybe it was meant to be like this.<br/>Or maybe we just weren't meant to be."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe...

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. Well, not really. Literally a bus story. Not even sure how it happened but it happened. Kind of like a stream of conscious thing, even.  
> Not sure if this should be continued or if I'll ever have the motivation of continuing.  
> Maybe. I don't know.

It's Christmas again. The time of the year where joy and cheer is spread, the time where lovers, friends, and family gather to celebrate.  
  
Maybe it was meant to be like this.  
Or maybe we just weren't meant to be.  
  
It had been quite a stupid incident, after all. It's been three years of happiness, joy, and love. Three Christmases that we've spent with each other as lovers and thirteen that we've spent knowing each other. Sometimes, you make me wonder if this was just a happy dream, a three-year long fairy tale dream.  
  
Because happy endings don't happen, right?  
  
And now here we are, spending the first Christmas without each other.   
  
It hurts, you know?  
  
I don't know why I'm still hopeful that maybe you'll come back to me. I don't know why I still prepare dinner for two, or buy two matching mugs. I've become so attached to you, so used to always being by your side. I never thought I'd be able to live without, and here I am. One year has gone by without seeing you. One year has gone by without hearing you.  
We've always been together. You were like the half of me that I never knew I had. Maybe I didn't cherish the moments that we had together enough, taking it for granted. Maybe that's why you were taken away from me.   
  
But maybe it's really time to let go of the past and start a new future.  
  
But it hurts, you know? Throwing away the best three years of my life. It hurts to know that maybe, just maybe it wasn't the best three years of your life. I spent ten years loving you. Perhaps I'm still in love with you.  
I'm pathetic aren't I?  
  
Hey, did you know that I still spend every night lying in my bed awake at night waiting for you to come back to me? I've forgotten how it feels to have you by my side at night, giving me reassurance that everything would be alright, telling me how we'll be forever and that nothing would break us. I really believed that, you know. That we'd be together for the rest of our lives. And I held onto that belief and prayed for it to come true. I wanted it with all my heart. And I still want it now.  
Was it too much to ask for these promises to be true? Was it too much to hope?  
  
Maybe I was the only one hoping this could continue.  
  
My whole life revolved around you, you know? Don't you remember how I would pick out the soggy fries or how I would run to you whenever you called? And now, I spend every night lifelessly staring at the blank walls of what used to be our bedroom. I spend every night suffocating under these memories. Were the tears I shed not enough? Not that it really matters anymore right? They've been all used, really. I don't really want to admit it but my life still revolves around you. I still pick out the soggy fries for myself, I still see your shadow around the house.   
  
Remember how it was Christmas that we shared our first love confession? Our first kiss? It still replays in my head every night even though I've forgotten your touch and your voice. It's funny; I've forgotten what I loved most about you and yet I'm still acting like this. I just can't let you go. It hurts putting up this wall of happiness every day. You know how I don't like to make other worry. Remember the first time we confessed to my parents and how my dad almost killed you on the spot? It's a wonder how we managed to convince him that maybe there's nothing wrong with us. That it was meant to be. But really, is this really meant to be? You leaving me forever or is this all a joke that fate decided play on us? I don't want to believe that us meeting, us falling in love isn't fate. I don't want to believe that fate would be so cruel, so... so...

  
But maybe these little things were only important to me. Maybe they were just little insignificant things to you. I'll never know now, will I? You've gone from my grasp. And just the other day, I had a dream about you.  
  
I saw you in my room when I woke up. It was heart wrenching. I really thought you came back to me. You were sitting on the desk next to my bed, and you looked at me with that longing gaze that you only ever gave me publicly. You said something, but I couldn't hear what you said. I couldn't hear anything. I felt like I couldn't breathe, I felt like I was drowning. But even so, that was still the most fleeting moment of joy that I've had in the past year. But happiness doesn't last, right?   
  
Fairy tales are real, right?   
  
You disappeared from me again when you decided to reach out towards me. It's cruel that you would disappear after being so close to me. After only one centimeter away from reminding me of your touch. Only one centimeter away from the kiss that I've longed to share again. The touch that I've wanted since we were nine years old, the touch that I've had for three years, the touch that I've lost of one year. The touch that I've tried to treasure and keep all for myself.  
  
Maybe it was my fault that I didn't see the way you chose to distance yourself that time. Was I being too clingy? I'm sorry. Was I finally starting to get on your nerves? I'm sorry. You know I'd change anything for you if you told me. Maybe you really did get tired of me. I'm sorry that I'm always like this, helpless and apologetic. I'm sorry that I can't be the one to take initiative to keep us together. Is that why you chose to come home later and later as each day passed by?   
  
Or maybe I was the only one who found contentment in what we had.   
Or maybe what we had was only the idea of being in love, and not actually being in love. I don't want to go on like this any longer. I really want you to come back to me. I really want to see you again, to touch you again, to kiss you, hug you, love you, to-

.

.

.

Hey, Tsukki, did you know? I miss you. I love you. I'm sorry that it wasn't me. So please come back, yeah?


End file.
